My First Kiss
by myStiCaLYia
Summary: Hermione is almost sixteen, still single, and guess what? She's hating it. She hasn't had a first kiss yet, she hasn't had a boyfriend, and she hasn't had anything close to a relationship with a guy. She ain't happy.


My First Kiss

A/N: I'm trying desperately to make it up to you guys for getting rid of Dreamy Love and Chained to You and Treason Beyond Treason. So I'm updating like almost everyday to keep all of you happy and me alive LOL. Have fun reading this little piece.

*

I'd really like to introduce this story by telling all of you that my first kiss was wonderful and I loved every nano-second of it.

Really.

But uh…reality isn't fantasy, after all.

All right, I come clean and bear with me no lies.

I 

Have

Not

Yet

Been

Kissed

Period.

Yes, I am aware that I'm almost sixteen years old and am going to have my birthday next month.

Yes, I am aware that my best friend Ginny is now dating my best friend Harry.

Yes, I am aware that my best friend Harry has at least given my best friend Ginny half a million kisses by now.

Being kissed by parents do NOT count, let me clarify that.

Being kissed by a dazzling blonde does.

But, hey, life is life, right?

Still…

It'd be nice though. 

I mean, I _would_ be sixteen next month. Think of how embarrassing it would be if people found out I haven't been kissed.

Ron even went as far to say that it wouldn't be a Sweet Sixteen; it'd be a Sour Sixteen.

Hah, hah, hah.

Dry laugh there, people, take note.

Sour Sixteen.

How brilliant. 

And who came up with that lovely, lovely title?

I don't even want to hide my scowls.

Ron's at least mentioned the Sour Sixteen shit to me seventeen times since he remembered it was to my birthday next month.

Ron's a wonderful person, you know that?

Okay, I'm sorry for just ranting on and on and uh, just plain boring the crap out of you, but I really must protest.

There are tons of plain people out there, why not pick on them? Why me?! Why?!

I could repeat that in several different languages, but I really don't want to.

I'm not showing off.

People who show off are those people who have boyfriends and don't have to worry about being Sour Sixteen instead of being Sweet.

Oh, don't get me wrong, not being kissed is considered _pure_ now. If you haven't been kissed, girls, and you're sixteen, you ain't alone. I'm with ya.

Oh, yeah, and I do NOT buy that shit.

The one about us considered pure.

Not that I'm a pessimist, I'm just going through a really rough time.

I'm going to be sixteen in thirty-one days, I have never been kissed, the guy I like will NEVER give me a second glance, and I'm going through that time of month when I bitch at every other person that talks to me.

And all because of a silly kiss.

Honestly.

I could do better than that.

Ginny wasn't kissed until she was fourteen. That's plenty old.

_But as old as sixteen?!_

Sorry, sorry.

But…

_Sixteen?!_

Sorry.

_Damn it, _sixteen_?!_

I remorse.

I really should stop.

Here I go.

…

_SIXTEEN?! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE GOD OF KISSING?!_

I apologize.

I honestly want to kick the person who decides these things. If he were out of the way, I wouldn't be sitting here, expressing grief for what has not been gained.

That's right, a FIRST KISS.

I'm not begging for one, my mum told me long ago that first kisses should be enjoyable and happy. Well, tra, la, la! I'm happy! Look! I'm bouncing and skipping along without a care in the world!

As if.

Now, guys, this is the point where you laugh.

Yesiree, Hermione Granger is a _pure_ girl. Not only has she never experienced sex, but she's also never been kissed!

Not only that, but I used to think kissing a guy would land a girl in pregnancy.

No lies.

I honestly thought that kissing got you pregnant.

Mum told me that she got her first kiss when she was twenty-five. I was like, thinking, "Oh, my freaking God…"

I'm starting to think that my first kiss will grace itself upon me at a ripe old age of thirty.

Shudder.

Shudder.

More shuddering.

If that happened, I'll simply make up a few lies: _Uh, no, I did _not_ receive my first kiss at thirty! If you must know, this really dashing, prince-handsome man kissed me when I was fourteen. Uh-huh, I'm not kidding!_

Perfect.

Back to our conversation.

Where were we?

Ah yes, somewhere after 'I honestly thought that kissing got you pregnant', I remember now.

Let's return.

Okay, I have say this, the older I got, the stupider I thought that was. I mean, come on! I've seen Ginny and Harry kiss all the time! It didn't mean nothing! Okay, well, of course, it meant _something_, it meant that Harry and Ginny love each other, but other than that, it was nothing. Ginny didn't give birth right then and there.

But then again, I was like, eight.

_Hah. Try fourteen and a half._

No, friends, I was _not_ fourteen and a half.

_Oh?_

That's right!

_Fourteen, then. Somewhere along that age._

Yes, I admit it.

I, Hermione Granger, thought that kissing got you pregnant until the age of fourteen, due to a severe lack of experience.

Experience in the areas concerning kissing, that is.

Crud this, I'm almost sixteen years old and I haven't even kissed a guy on the cheek.

Unless you count that kiss I gave Harry at the end of Fourth Year.

But that doesn't count, because Harry's a friend.

And that other kiss on Ron's cheek in Fifth Year, I guess…

But that doesn't count, because…

_Because…? There is no 'because', I'm such a freak!_

Oh, Gods up there…

Yes…I do have a little crush on Ron.

And uh…yeah, I kissed him because I wanted him to feel better and more confident about the game.

No, I didn't want to kiss his lips.

That would distract him and make him lose the game.

If he lost the game, he'd probably blame it on me and say it was my fault and that I tempted him and let his mind go astray.

These are all lies! True, I like Ron a little…and true, I want my first kiss to be him, but I don't want to _kiss_ him!

That'd be his first kiss as well.

I don't want to rob him of his first kiss. Especially with a girl he doesn't like.

That's right, I know he doesn't like me, so you may all stop the 'What?! Of course Ron likes you!' junk.

I'm looking back at my calendar now. Thirty-one days till my sixteenth birthday.

I've already pretty much found out what I'm getting for my birthday. I'm getting a car from Mum and Dad, for when I got back to visit on holidays, money from Granny and Grandpa, clothes and new robes from Ginny, books from Harry…

I don't know what I'm getting from Ron.

I didn't dare ask.

He never asked me what I wanted.

But if he had, I guess you'd know what I'd say I want, right?

*

A/N: There ya go! A nice little ficcy to accompany _I Long for Love_. It's still there, not being a chapter fic. Go read it!

And um…that place with the I-honestly-thought-that-kissing-got-you-pregnant? That was me. When I told my friend Jamie, she practically laughed her kidneys out, so this story's for you, girly! Look! I made something out of it!

And I'm one of the _purer_ ones who haven't been kissed. And I'm almost sixteen too. No, I don't have a Ron that I'd like to receive my birthday present from…not yet, anyway.

But enough ranting! I want you guys to know how much I love all those reviews that's gonna come. I'm not saying that I'm going to get tons, but I'll surely get _some_, and I'm thanking all my reviewers in advance! THANK YOU!!!

myStiCaLYia


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